I’ve only been married a bit over a year, but I have a pretty strong take on what it takes to have a lasting relationship: treat your marriage like a constant competition.

I hear you protesting already. “Marriage is a partnership!” you cry, “You’ll never survive tallying relationship points!”  

Granted, marriage is not a large game of tit for tat.  Keeping track of how many times you’ve emptied the dishwasher versus her will always end badly (I would lose that one anyway). What I mean is that I wake up every single day secure in the knowledge that my wife is FAR ahead of me in terms of what she brings to the relationship, and the lead is growing. Every time she reminds me that I wanted to pick up batteries at the store, or remembers that it’s my Aunt’s birthday, or figures out how we can afford that trip to that Michelin-starred restaurant I’ve had my eye on, the gap on the scoreboard grows. So every day I try to put some points on the board to stop it from getting into a Globetrotters-Generals situation.

When I look back on the first time my wife started winning our relationship, I trace it back to a fateful night early in our courtship when she incredulously and patiently explained the concept of “Queso” to me. To that point, I pretty exclusively dipped my chips in salsa - I was a latecomer to the avocado revolution, but I rocked guac occasionally as well. My only knowledge of queso was the questionable Tostitos cheese sauce that I was deeply suspicious of because honestly what cheese product doesn’t need to be refrigerated.

And the first time I coated a chip with real queso and put it to my lips? My life changed forever  for the better. All because I had the sense to fall in love with a sweet genius from Texas, homeland of Queso. And the scoreboard read: Mrs. Belly 1, Mr. Belly 0.

For the uninitiated, Queso (Formally  “Chile Con Queso,” but who wants to be formal when there is a bowl full of creamy cheesy goodness to inhale?) is a tex-mex staple that, in it’s simplest form, takes processed cheese sauce (think Velveeta), adds in peppers, and heats to molten. The texture is pleasingly thick and smooth, the flavor decadently cheesy, cut with heat from the peppers.  

I, being a snob, turn my nose up at the Velveeta and canned pepper simplicity of Queso’s heritage. It’s not bad, per se; I have munched happily on my fair share of this exact style.  What I propose below is simply that by borrowing the greatest gift of french cooking (Bechamel sauce), a more flavorful, cheesier, all around better Queso is achievable.

Roasted Chile Queso

Ingredients

  • 2 Tbsp, butter

  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

  • 1 cup whole milk (plus more if needed for thinning)

  • 1 Tbsp. garlic, minced fine

  • 1/2 cup roasted, chopped, Hatch green chiles (Poblanos will work as a substitute)

  • 1/2 tsp. salt

  • ¼ tsp. ground cumin

  • ¼ tsp. cayenne pepper

  • 1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese

  • 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Procedure

  1. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat, until it has almost stopped bubbling but before it browns.

  2. Add the flour to form a roux. Stir constantly 1-2 minutes, until flour and butter are totally combined and there is a faint nutty odor to the paste.

  3. While whisking, add the milk slowly.

  4. Add the chopped peppers, garlic, and spices. Cook 3-5 minutes, whisking constantly, until the milk thickens slightly and just barely coats the whisk. If you accidentally over thicken, add 1 tablespoon of milk at a time and whisk until it achieves the correct texture.

  5. Turn the Heat to low. Add the cheese ½ cup at a time, whisking constantly.

  6. Garnish with your choice of avocado, fresh peppers, cilantro, and limes. Serve with Chips.

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